The day you first moved out of your parents’ home, you were likely filled with many emotions. You may have felt a bit nervous or sad, but overall, you probably felt eager and excited. But what happens when you have to move back home? No matter the reason, you may have some mixed emotions about it – frustration, depression, gratitude, relief, and so on. You may even feel that you are taking a step backwards in life. All of these feelings are natural. Though moving back in with your parents may be the right step – emotionally, financially and professionally – doing so is likely to be a great challenge. In this situation, you will need to find a way to be your adult self while still showing respect and gratitude to your parents. If you are considering moving back home, here are some strategies you should take:
Discuss your plans. After living on your own, you are probably used to only having to think about yourself. But a decision to move back home doesn’t just involve you – it involves your parents too. Before you show up at your parents’ front door with moving boxes in tow, be sure to discuss your plans with them first. Be open and honest with them about your reasons for moving home and the goals you wish to achieve while there – to pay off debts, build up savings, focus on your career, etc. Taking an approach that is clear and direct is one of the best ways to avoid problems while living back under your parents’ roof.
Set up an agreement. You probably won’t need a formal agreement to move back home, but you and your parents should definitely come to an agreement on certain issues beforehand. Consider these:
- Establish roles: When moving back in with your parents, it is common for everyone to revert back to old family roles. To eliminate the risk of this happening, you should remind your parents that you are no longer a child and should be treated like an adult. Inform them that you don’t expect them to clean up after you, prepare your meals or do your laundry. Also tell them that you expect them to respect your privacy and take your opinion into account. If you treat your parents with respect and courtesy, they are likely to reciprocate.
- Set rules: Another important thing to do before moving back in with your folks is to establish set rules. For example, do you want your parents to stay out of your room? Or do your parents expect you to join them for dinner or let them know if you will be out late? Knowing the answers to questions like these and setting clear rules is the optimal way to avoid confrontations.
- Define your responsibilities: No matter where you live, you will have certain responsibilities to take care of. This is also true when moving in with your parents. Are you going to contribute to the family budget, and if so, how much? What household chores are you going to be responsible for? Will you be having friends or a significant other come over or stay over, and how often? Consider these questions and discuss them openly with your parents so everyone will have a better understanding of what to expect.
Be considerate and show gratitude. If your parents are nice enough to let you move back in with them, it is important to be considerate and show them gratitude. Otherwise, your parents may feel taken advantage of or taken for granted and feelings can be hurt. So,
- Respect their house rules
- Be polite
- Take the necessary measures to avoid conflicts
- Offer to help them with errands, jobs or tasks
- Do your best not to disturb their daily habits and routines
Set an end goal. Letting yourself get too comfortable living in your parents’ home can make it harder to move out later on. This is why it is important to remember that your new living arrangements are only temporary. A good way to do this is to set an end goal and work hard to achieve it. Make plans for your future, spend and save your money responsibly, look for affordable places to rent, apply to jobs, etc. – whatever it takes to ensure you work towards moving back out on your own at some point.
Still not sure if you should move back in with your parents? Check out our next blog, “Moving Back in with Your Parents: The Pros and Cons”.